Vblog Not

Well i tried to make a vblog today, I could not get the sound to work, nothing I do on this computer works right, I tried 6 different ways to get the sound to work right for 4 hours so you can guess how I feel right now.

I was going to vblog about last Monday night because I can express my self much better than writing, so for now it will be the same old way.

Sunday my first day off I was supposed to go out sailing with a friend but that didn't happen so I ended up staying home doing nothing, later that day I got a text message saying that there was going to be an important union meeting on Monday night, so later on I called one of the union officers to see what it was about to see if I really needed to be there, he said that they were going to discuss me and try to find out why the people that had a problem with me had not discussed it with me and maybe I could clear up some things, well that got my heart going, 1 they were going to talk about me, 2 I don't go anywhere not dressed up and most of them have not seen me dressed, 3 all but one of them are male firefighters, that made me stress out for a while, not once did I consider not going.
I got to work making copy's of paper work to hand out, a HRC manual for the union and I was going to show Donna's video Transgender Issues, by the time I had done all that and more reading I had settled down.
Monday I started the day going to see the therapist here in town, I told her that I would not be able to see her again until see confirmed that she was qualified to council me then the rest of the time I think we talked about my upcoming meeting.
After I left there I went down to the main fire station to drop off some of the paper work so that the union office could do some per reading before the meeting, I must have been there 15-20 minutes, it was also the first time I had been there in the day time dressed because I don't think some people wanted me to go dressed, when I left there and went home I had this strange feeling of power that I don't think I have ever felt before, kind of a neat feeling.
the next 5 hours I just stressed about the meeting until it was time to get ready, I put on my red dress and my favorite high heels and went to the meeting, I got there a little early so I read over my notes until it was time to go in, I just happened to get out of my truck when everybody was walking in so I went in with them, only one person said anything and it wasn't bad, I stopped in the back of the room to talk to the union guy because the dvd was not set up, he said that they would not have time to play it cause it is 45 minutes long, by then every body had sat down towards the back of the room, you know how nobody likes to sit in the front, they are just like little kids, so that meant that I had to walk passed them all to sit in the front row which I did.
The meeting started out with the normal business then the discussion turned to me, the president started, I don't remember every thing but basically said that he has known me for years and had never done him wrong, have always done my job, anyway it was all good stuff, then he said that people had been coming to him saying that they need to get me out of the union and the fire department, you know that part hurts, what I have I really done to them, am I an embarrassment to them and the department, are people saying things about them because I work there, yes it is not normal for people that are born into a male body to wear woman's clothing, they don't under stand that this was not my choice to be a transsexual, I don't know what it is that they have a problem with because they are not man enough to talk to me. one of the things they brought up was that I was going to fast, to me 55 years is not fast, to them it's been about 2 months since I came out to them and they don't like the in between stage, they think it would be easier if I walked in one day all done but we know that does not work ether, they said that it's hard because they used to look up to me and know I guess I have betrayed them, I told them that I am the same person in side, I will still pull them out of a burning building weather or not they like me, I will still do my job, I will still be me even though I look a little different.
I think it went OK, after the meeting some of the guys came over to me and shook my hand which was nice and I talked to one of the guys outside after wards and we will talk more later.
I am getting tired so I will write more tomorrow. Good Night. Susan