The Start of my sailing life.

Once upon a time living in England, I watched a TV show, I think it was called Seaspray, I wanted to live like that, that was in the 60's.
Fast forward a lot of years, 2007 I think it was I bought a 1978 24 foot McGregor sailboat that needed going through to make it nice to take it out on Lake Havasu, I sailed that for a few years until I was getting ready to execute my plan.
While I was working at the fire department I figured that I had enough money to quit and go sailing in about two years but that turned out to be a little longer. September 2015 I flew to St Maarten to look at the boat I was going to buy, a 2008 Jeanneau 36i, I really liked this boat so I flew back home to finish things off so I would be ready to go back in November to take possession of the boat and start living my dream. Now after I got home the Job where I used to work for 12 years before called me and asked if I could come back for about a week and repair some machines that were down, the person that was supposed to repair them had been out for months with a broken foot, I thought it would be good, a little more money for my boat and I was still working fire too, I was also asked to work to take care of some backed up work which I did before I left for my boat, that turned out to be 5 weeks. Now this is where things changed before I left I was asked if I would come back full time but they would have to put in a request to have a position made for me and I said yes.
I packed up two sea bags and a carry on (100lbs) left my van with friends full of everything else I owned because I would be back to work.
November 18, 2015, I moved on to my boat at Oyster Pond in St Maarten, I was docked at the Sunsail marina while they were finishing up some things on the boat, I also needed a dinghy and motor.
Next the move to Simpson Bay.

House update.

House is going a little slow right now but I have done a lot, well at least I am getting there, spent around $3000 this month, bought some used appliances and new kitchen cabinets, hopefully I will be able to get them installed by the end of the month, have some prep work to do first.

Garage is also in work, got a lot of the plaster up.

That be all for now.

School Time

Last Friday I drove to Prescott for a four day school, started Saturday am so I went over to Cottonwood to see my derby friends, had dinner and a few drinks, made it back kind of in time to get a few hours sleep before class.
The school was Arizrona Wildfire Academy, the class is Communication Technician  (COMT) it was the best class I can ever remember having, hopefully I will be able to make some use of it and make some money.

Oh Crap

I am still upset about being rejected from the rec team so last Wednesday I started something, I listen to Derby Deeds podcast a lot, so I called and left a message because I know one of them that does the show, so anyway he got back to me later on facebook and said he would call her and get her side of the story and that they would like to put it on the podcast so I said sure but that I didn't want to do the interview and he said that he would do it for me if I wanted so I said yes, he messaged me back later and told me he had talked to her and that she may have made a mistake, so now we are waiting to see if she calls me and invites me back, going on 3 days now.

Another person messaged me that same night who is with the Rattleskaters and showed their support, he said that they would not stand for that and would not skate bouts with them, this was something I didn't expect.

I am going to give it to Monday for the call and if not I will let them know she didn't and we will go from there.

Bits and Pieces

I feel like a little kid sometimes, I think way too much, I forget that my friends have friends of their own so I get a little jealous when I see them out having fun with them, you would think at 60 I would be over that.

Last weekend I went to Cottonwood and I stayed at my friends house in Rimrock, we went to a Rockabilly band another first for me, we were fundraising for their team on skates, found out that my big wheels were hitting the toe stops and making me fall but only when skating tight turns, they were OK for skating straight so I fixed them the other day.

Working on things around the house has not been going too good, just keep messing things up and then I have to spend more time trying to fix them.

Wanted to go to the Rockabilly thing this weekend kind of why I bought the dress the other week for last weekend and this but I have never been to this before and after that thing that happened I am still not feeling too confidant about my self, that and I had nobody to go with so I have been home all weekend, just makes me feel like a wasted life like in the old days.

I have been living my life on you-tube lately.

The Plan Update

I am working on changing my life too, trying to speed things up, I have to finish and sell my house first so I can buy a boat but I had all these jobs I wanted to do before It was ready to sell but now I have started to eliminate things that really don't need to be done or finished, I have now been able to set a date to place the house up for sale, I can't do what I read all the time and that's just go and do it before life passes you by, I don't think I could ever be that free.

Derby Love

About 2 weeks ago a friend told me about a new team starting up in Phoenix, AZ over 40, so I called the number and the woman called me and I got signed up on the secret facebook group and then the next day she took me off because she thought I was a man but wanted to talk to me about it.

So the woman at the AZ over 40 league finally got back to me, over a week ago she kicked me off the league for being a man and said she would give me a call which she did today and she told me that because of my competitive advantage, looking like a man and skating like a man that I can't skate with them but would be sure to give me a call if they were going to have a coed bout, don't think she understands or maybe not care about how that has made me feel, sure took the life out of me today.

By how she said some things she knows more than what she was telling, she does not know me but she said that some teams did not want me to play with them and how did she know I look like a man when I skate if she has never seen me.

The best thing about this is was that she was honest, I can't stand hearing about things behind my back.

Not sure if I should give up on this or take it somewhere, I meet all the WFTDA requirements but that is only for WFTDA bouts, lets see how I feel after a good nights sleep.

This is also one of the reasons in my mind why my team failed, new girls look at me and are scared to skate against me, I will never know for sure.

House and Plans Update

So I am still working on the house, so tired of it to tell the truth but I see the light now. Started to finish the garage drywall this week, did the ceiling years ago so now the walls, hung 25 sheets last week by my self and this week I have to install the rest of the screws which not looking forward to but if I think like I do when wiring which is one wire at a time it will be one screw at a time and before I know it I will be done with that part.

Last week I also had a wildland fire refresher class so I only worked on the house 3 days, even though I am trying to quit work and retire to a boat I am looking at supplemental income from wildland fires during the season and live on the boat and sail the rest of the time, that's the plan anyway.

So just an update on whats going on.

Stuff

Went running today well at least I tried, I knew I was still tired from working on the roof Saturday and Sunday but I thought it would be OK, I have been working on getting my speed back up to where it was pre surgery, I kind of have the distance but not the speed, I need to run 1 1/2 mile in 11 minutes, last time I think it was 13.30, I started off at a good speed but got tired real quick so the total run was maybe a mile, oh well try again next week.

When I was walking between runs today I was thinking about things to write, too bad I forgot what they were.

Think I am going to delete Runkeeper too and some other programs that go with it. speaking of deleting, a lot of the friends on facebook are there because of Roller Derby, now that I don't have a team to play on I may as well delete them, some of course I will keep, the true friends, I know the reason must of them don't post on my wall is because I don't post on their wall, of course others are so important that they don't have time to post on all their friends walls.

There's a reason for everything.

There has to be a reason for everything in life or that's maybe what I should believe, it makes things easier if I believe that way.
So it seems for me that my derby days are done, I have been fighting against this for 2 1/2 years but not going to fight it anymore, I was getting upset because I could not play as much as I wanted and on facebook it seemed that all my derby friends were playing all the time, you can't get good at something if you don't get to practice and I wasn't, nobody will let you play on there teams if you can't make it to practice and with the closest team 2 1/2 hours away there is no way I could  do that, can't move because I am too old  to transfer, not that I am giving up, I have $1000 in derby gear that I have to make use of somehow, should have known when I bought the new skates, oh well.
So the reason I have come up with is that I have to continue on the path I started 2 years ago, that is finish the house and sell, quit work and find the sail boat that I have always wanted.

Why did I stop blogging

Remembered why I stopped blogging, I had a problem with changing my email from yahoo to gmail and keeping my logon, it took over a year for google to forget so I could get it back  and by then I had got away from blogging and moved on the facebook.

So I have not posted on here for a very long time, almost forgot I had it, I am not going to try and go back and fill in the last two years, most of it was the same anyway, my life has moved on, the TS part is still there but now I just live as me, I have become what I really wanted to be and that is just me in more of a women s body.
Most of my computer time is on facebook, still work 48 hours a week at the fire department and I started roller derby almost 2 years ago, I love roller derby, the skating and the people, that has been talking a lot of my time in a good way. I have started working on my house again, I haven't had the money to do anything for the last 2 years but now I do so it's time to finish the house and try to sell it and move so I can enjoy the rest of my life, I may have to take a less  but I am going to sell.
I have realized that I am spending too much time on my things, I need less things to enjoy my time more.

More pictures from the news paper

Pictures from the news paper

The Same But Different

My Birthday

This is out of order but it has to be in here.

My 57th birthday was the best ever, my friends set me up for a surprise birthday party, Marie started setting me up like three weeks before hand, I was supposed to pick up LouAnne at the foot doctors office because Marie may still be up in Bullhead working, so i went down to pick LouAnne up a little before 5pm, i am almost always on time or before, I pulled into the parking lot and they were no cars there at all but when i say i am going to do something i do it, i think it was about 10 after and here comes LouAnne driving up, she gets out and starts telling me the foot was not as bad as they thought so she got out early and went to the pharmacy to pick up meds but now she needed to take them with food and could not wait for dinner (Marie was going to take me to dinner for my birthday)so she rode with me to a pizza house, again no cars in the parking lot, went in and surprise, they totally got me, it was great.

After we went to coffee at starbucks for a little while, then we went to B.J's bar Marie and myself played four games of pool, when we were leaving this women that had made a remark about me when she walked in with friends tried to get us to dance with her but we had to go, so she asked for a picture with us then she wanted an email address so i gave her my card, we left the bar LouAnne and Marie went home and i did too, about 1am i got this phone call and it was that women, she wanted me and my girl friends to come down to her house and party, well i knew that my friends would not want to go so she said i could just go and i did, i had a nice time, my first lesbian sex ever.

Best birthday ever.

2 Years

You know it's only 2 years that i have known that i was a transsexual, 2 years and i look back at all that i have done in those 2 years and how my life has changed, what will happen in the next 2 years.

So what am i going to do, well one is i will be moving sometime, don't know where to but it will be to somewhere that i can be more social, no more living out in the boondocks for me. I have a lot of work to do on my voice, I have to learn how to dance, how to cook much better, do my makeup and hair better, start getting some nice outfits and this is the biggest thing i think i need to do, that is learn how to sell myself as a person that people will like.

Going Good

Up until the last post things have been going really good, I guess the more i do the more chances there are for things to go wrong, I have been so busy that i have not updated this in a while, life is really looking up like last Saturday night, one of my girl friends was in town visiting one of her boy friends, i met up with them at a bar, we all went to another one, then at closing we went to Lenny's then to they house where i had the first ever three some with a man and a women, wasn't the best, you know how guys are after drinking.

Then there was the dinner date that i got stood up on.

Next week i have a date in Vegas, this one is just for sex only, can't wait.

I have another women that wants me bad, haven't set up a date yet.

November i have kind of a date in Phoenix who i will be showing the ropes too, they are only 21.

I am not going to waist the few years i have left.

Stood Up

So last night i had a dinner date with a woman at a local restaurant which is also part owned by somebody i know, I was on time as always, went in and got a table, told the hostess i was waiting for a friend, after 15 minutes i ordered a glass of wine and waited, I noticed the part owner sitting at the bar so i went over to talk to him and say hi, before going back to my table i mentioned i was waiting for somebody. After waiting 45 minutes i had to make a decision on whether to just pay for my wine and leave or have dinner anyway which is what i did.

I know i had nothing to be embarrassed about but it is embarrassing to be stood up and it hurts, still does today and makes you feel like crap, the good thing about the whole thing is i had a nice dinner, was even too much for me to eat so so i just finished the left overs today at work, another good thing is maybe i won't feel so bad about going out to eat by myself now.

Is it normal for me not to want anybody to find out that i got stood up, embarrassed, the guy i know could tell people, oh well that's life.

The women did message me back after i messaged her, she was very apologetic about the confusion, i guess i will try again, i really do want to meet her, it took a month to set up that date.

Still not doing too much due to the lack of money right now but this is about some things that happened in the last 2 days.

Sunday i went to Dillard's, i had an appointment at the Mac counter to try some new makeup, even though i always buy something(that's the idea i know) i still can't pass it up because i always learn more about makeup. they sure can make you look good.
After running around the rest of the day and waiting until bed time to take the makeup off i was trying to take it off and it would just not come off, i wiped and washed and rubbed, it would just come off, that's when i realized that it had come off and that was my skin i was looking at.

Last night i went out and met the GLBTS group at Hastings for coffee and to see two friends before they go back home, had mentioned something about going to a bar after-ward's because when i drive to town i like to make it a night, well that's what happened.

I had on one of my favorite short boob showing dresses and my new 5 inch heels, so i was ready. after about half hour we picked a bar, not much for fun bars here in havasu and it was a Monday night, well you all got there and of course it was quite, what we didn't know was that Karaoke started at 9pm along with happy hour, things started picking up with more people and music, we were just talking and all that and i was talking with friends about the normal trans stuff, like being in a place like that and if i looked ok, were people looking at me because i looked good or were they thinking i looked like a guy, you just never know what people are thinking. sometimes your friends do things that if you knew about them before hand you would just run and hide, we had noticed one older guy that had been watching me, well my one friend had gone up to him and said why don't you go ask her to dance (me) he told my friend that i was too cute to dance with him. another time he asked another friend if he would introduce us to these two women that had been looking at me which he did, turned out they were admiring my legs. I had just come off the dance floor and this women came up to me and said how gorgeous i was and could she ask me a personal question, i said sure as always, she said "my friends and i were having an argument about whether or not you were a man" so i told her i was trans and that now i was a women, she was totally surprised, then her friend came over and they seemed to love it, we went out and danced together and while we were out dancing this guy came up, this guy had been watching me all night too, he had been singing Karaoke when I was in the back of the room playing pool with a friend and remarking about me on the mic(all good stuff) he was with a group of 5 guys and 1 girl, anyway he came and butted in on the dance floor and started dancing with me so i went with it, that's when the girl from their group came and pulled him away, not sure what that was about but you know what i was guessing.

It was a really good night, i enjoyed it even though i was read, i can handle it so long as i don't get into trouble.