The Same But Different

The Day After

After I wrote the my last blog I almost went right back in and deleted it but I decided to leave it because that is the way I was feeling at the time, I have found that I learn a lot about myself just by the things I write here as I did with that blog.

After I wrote it when I was deciding to delete it or not I put my self in the other persons shoes like I do a lot, don't know why I didn't do it before I wrote it but I didn't, I thought about why I don't call some of my friends or email them, what if something had happened to them, I would never know, so I am not going to get upset when people don't call me anymore.

Another thing happened after that bad blog day and it wasn't because I wrote the blog, Friday I went out around noon for 2 hours of electrolysis then I ran some errands and then I went to a bar for one drink, the last time in the bar I had a meet a couple that were real nice and they were there again, the Lady saw me come in and came to sit with me, well I ended up having 3 drinks, a lot for me, we sat there for hours talking about everything, I had a real nice night, I even slept at their house so I wouldn't have to drive home.

The next day after I got home I didn't do too much, work that is, I talked to people on the phone, on IM and SKYPE so if I look at it that way I did get a lot done.

Sunday Valentines day, not that I cared about it being Valentines day because I don't have anybody but I had made plans to go to the swap meet then to the bar to see my new friends and watch the race, well after going to the bank and getting gas heading to the swap meet the phone rang, it was work, there were friends there from San Diego wanting to see me, so we made arrangements to meet at the Red Robin at 1pm, this got me excited because as far as I knew they did not know about me, that's because my ex wife has not told anybody back there in San Diego and didn't want me to tell anybody but my friends coming here are free game, the lunch went great, they were really happy for me and said I could stay with them anytime in San Diego.
After that I went to a friends house, they were having a garage sale, well by the time I got there they had closed up everything so we talked for about an hour then I took them for a ride in my new car(new to me).
I got to the bar around 4, my friends were still there, the race had been delayed for 2 hours, I was there for about 45 minutes then I had to go get food for work.

So maybe my communication skills are not so bad.

If I start complaining again just slap me, I have nothing to complain about.

2009

2009 was a very big year for me perhaps my biggest ever, this was the year when I started my transition, I would have started 2 months earlier right after I realized what I am but I had some things I needed to clear up before I could start.

I made my first appointments with my therapist, I was driving about 2 times a month to Phoenix so I could get the letter for hormones and really get started on my physical transition, that was done by the end of February which means I have been on hormones now for 10 months.

I also started early in January working on my new wardrobe, something I will be working on the rest of my life and loving it. I never once went to Phoenix in boy mode.

I think January was when I started going to Starbucks for coffee with the local GLBT group, I will never forget walking in there the first time, it was the first time in full dress, I was shaking so bad and all I did was sit down at a table with BOB, wow how things have changed.

April and May is when I did my coming out,this was done so soon because I was driving around this small town and I knew that I was going to be seen real soon so I thought I would do it under my own terms. I did not really have any friends that I had to come out to(how sad is that) so it was work first which was not as hard as I thought it would be and then I came out to my family in England, coming out for me was one of the best things I have ever done, it lets me be me.

May is when I started my name change and was done on June 9th, I am still finding things that have my old name on them, what a pain.

Electrolysis was started in January also and was worked on all year, I am up to about 130 hours with many more to go.

In September I had my nose job, that nose had given me a hard time for over over 35 years, not only does it look better but more important it's the way it makes me feel about myself that makes the biggest difference, it also helps in the passing I think mostly from not attracting attention to me.

I think it was September when I made my appointment for GRS, it seemed like so long away back then but I moved the date up a month when I was given the chance and now it's 5 months away, I can't wait.

I have made a lot of new friends this year who have made this transition easier for me. I would like to thank Marie and Billie for all their support.

I have found out that I can still love and I still have feeling and boy do I have feeling, I don't remmber the last day when I had dry eyes, it's all good.

I have been living full time now for about 8 months (from when I came out), it feels normal for me to be dressed as a woman and that's because I have always been one inside.

This was also the first year I have ever written a blog, in fact I have written more this year than in my whole life, I did slow down a little on the blogs but that is because what I was doing had become the norm and there was nothing new to write about, all this was new to me.

I have had some problems but nothing bad, I have had a great year, this was the year when I started living again.

I think I covered everything, I am still open about everything and if you ever want to ask questions go ahead, I am always ready to talk about my new life.

Happy New Year. Susan

Coming out fallout

It seems I am getting some fallout from coming out at work, It's about time things were going too good, I don't know for sure what it is but I have heard that some of the wife's don't like it because it could make the fire department look bad, I think it's more there husbands, the other thing is that it really bothers some of the guys when I were makeup to work, I have worn some but it was very little, so for right now I will have to back off on that and it does say in the rules no makeup male or female, I do have to watch what I do, don't want to give them an excuse.
I got paper work from two SRS doctors and have been reading that and filling out forms, I get a little excited when I think about it, one day.
other than that I have been just working, working on my boat and shed not a whole lot of excitement but stuff I have to get done. Susan

Coming out to wife's friends

Tuesday was kind of an interesting day, I did something that maybe I should not have done, I called a friend in San Diego who I have not talked to since about 2005, she is actually my X wife's friend, I had expected her to have been told about me but she had not heard a word so I told her every thing and told her the myspace address and every thing, well later that night I got a very angry call from the X, she said that was her friend and I had no business telling her about myself and telling her about the web site, I guess I embarrassed her. Oh well can't take it back, anyway I just have to tell the world.
I had some friends stop by on the way to Taco Tuesday, they wanted to see where I live and take some pictures, hopefully I will be able to post some of them on here soon.
I didn't do too much the last three days, paper work, reading about srs doctors, cleaning house, I did make an appointment with another electrolysis to see if I can get it done faster and I made an appointment with Doctor Meltzer for a consultation.
That be all for now Susan out