One year on hormones, I wish I could say the year went bye fast but it didn't, if it wasn't for being so busy I would have gone nuts, ops already there.
So what have hormones done for me? well that depends on what day you ask me, I saw a picture of my self the other day that I looked like I did before I started this and then two days before that I got dressed to go out and looking in the mirror I looked so hot, so how do I tell you what has changed.
Just the facts mam, what I know for sure is not much, the first six months very little changed, I got the mounds behind the nipples and my skin got softer, I am not sure if I got more sensitive from the hormones or if it was because now it was OK to show my feelings.
After my nose surgery is when things seemed like they kicked in, the lab tests had showed that my testosterone and estrogen were at the same levels but then after the surgery the testosterone dropped down to near nothing, where they should have been all along, this is when I started to notice that my breasts seemed to have grown, the reason I say seemed is because I stopped wearing the breast forms and found real bras that fit, I check my measurements every month and they just don't change, my weight does not change, I can see a difference now, it is so slow, it's a real test of patience, in the last month I did notice a one inch drop in chest size, not breast, chest which is maybe why they look a little bigger.
Body hair did nothing until maybe month nine, that's when I noticed it getting less and lighter in color, now it's even better, I can go all week and not shave if I want, before it was every day.
When I look at my old pictures I can see that I have changed but I can't tell you what has changed, I just know that I look different and much better.
The biggest change I think is in my life, it's not just that I am busy with my transition but I am busy with my life now, I go out and do things, the last four days off I was out every day, this did not happen before, I could easily spend four days at home by myself and all this is only now possible because I can be me.
I have been working on transition now for fourteen months, I know I have a long way to go and a lot to learn, even though I feel more comfortable now when I go out compared to my old life I get nervous around groups of women, I still don't feel worthy to be there with them, I think that will come in time as I go out more.
I have no regrets so far, don't expect any, life gets better and better and I am enjoying the ride. 91 days until SRS, I can't wait.
Susan
Oh I forgot, Electrolysis is on going, does this ever end? going by the last year this has to be the worst part about transition for me, it hurts, drains the bank and takes forever, I don't think I will ever be done.
Showing posts with label 24/7. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 24/7. Show all posts
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
2009
2009 was a very big year for me perhaps my biggest ever, this was the year when I started my transition, I would have started 2 months earlier right after I realized what I am but I had some things I needed to clear up before I could start.
I made my first appointments with my therapist, I was driving about 2 times a month to Phoenix so I could get the letter for hormones and really get started on my physical transition, that was done by the end of February which means I have been on hormones now for 10 months.
I also started early in January working on my new wardrobe, something I will be working on the rest of my life and loving it. I never once went to Phoenix in boy mode.
I think January was when I started going to Starbucks for coffee with the local GLBT group, I will never forget walking in there the first time, it was the first time in full dress, I was shaking so bad and all I did was sit down at a table with BOB, wow how things have changed.
April and May is when I did my coming out,this was done so soon because I was driving around this small town and I knew that I was going to be seen real soon so I thought I would do it under my own terms. I did not really have any friends that I had to come out to(how sad is that) so it was work first which was not as hard as I thought it would be and then I came out to my family in England, coming out for me was one of the best things I have ever done, it lets me be me.
May is when I started my name change and was done on June 9th, I am still finding things that have my old name on them, what a pain.
Electrolysis was started in January also and was worked on all year, I am up to about 130 hours with many more to go.
In September I had my nose job, that nose had given me a hard time for over over 35 years, not only does it look better but more important it's the way it makes me feel about myself that makes the biggest difference, it also helps in the passing I think mostly from not attracting attention to me.
I think it was September when I made my appointment for GRS, it seemed like so long away back then but I moved the date up a month when I was given the chance and now it's 5 months away, I can't wait.
I have made a lot of new friends this year who have made this transition easier for me. I would like to thank Marie and Billie for all their support.
I have found out that I can still love and I still have feeling and boy do I have feeling, I don't remmber the last day when I had dry eyes, it's all good.
I have been living full time now for about 8 months (from when I came out), it feels normal for me to be dressed as a woman and that's because I have always been one inside.
This was also the first year I have ever written a blog, in fact I have written more this year than in my whole life, I did slow down a little on the blogs but that is because what I was doing had become the norm and there was nothing new to write about, all this was new to me.
I have had some problems but nothing bad, I have had a great year, this was the year when I started living again.
I think I covered everything, I am still open about everything and if you ever want to ask questions go ahead, I am always ready to talk about my new life.
Happy New Year. Susan
I made my first appointments with my therapist, I was driving about 2 times a month to Phoenix so I could get the letter for hormones and really get started on my physical transition, that was done by the end of February which means I have been on hormones now for 10 months.
I also started early in January working on my new wardrobe, something I will be working on the rest of my life and loving it. I never once went to Phoenix in boy mode.
I think January was when I started going to Starbucks for coffee with the local GLBT group, I will never forget walking in there the first time, it was the first time in full dress, I was shaking so bad and all I did was sit down at a table with BOB, wow how things have changed.
April and May is when I did my coming out,this was done so soon because I was driving around this small town and I knew that I was going to be seen real soon so I thought I would do it under my own terms. I did not really have any friends that I had to come out to(how sad is that) so it was work first which was not as hard as I thought it would be and then I came out to my family in England, coming out for me was one of the best things I have ever done, it lets me be me.
May is when I started my name change and was done on June 9th, I am still finding things that have my old name on them, what a pain.
Electrolysis was started in January also and was worked on all year, I am up to about 130 hours with many more to go.
In September I had my nose job, that nose had given me a hard time for over over 35 years, not only does it look better but more important it's the way it makes me feel about myself that makes the biggest difference, it also helps in the passing I think mostly from not attracting attention to me.
I think it was September when I made my appointment for GRS, it seemed like so long away back then but I moved the date up a month when I was given the chance and now it's 5 months away, I can't wait.
I have made a lot of new friends this year who have made this transition easier for me. I would like to thank Marie and Billie for all their support.
I have found out that I can still love and I still have feeling and boy do I have feeling, I don't remmber the last day when I had dry eyes, it's all good.
I have been living full time now for about 8 months (from when I came out), it feels normal for me to be dressed as a woman and that's because I have always been one inside.
This was also the first year I have ever written a blog, in fact I have written more this year than in my whole life, I did slow down a little on the blogs but that is because what I was doing had become the norm and there was nothing new to write about, all this was new to me.
I have had some problems but nothing bad, I have had a great year, this was the year when I started living again.
I think I covered everything, I am still open about everything and if you ever want to ask questions go ahead, I am always ready to talk about my new life.
Happy New Year. Susan
Monday, May 18, 2009
Things that happen at work
Sorry I have been a little slow in my blogs lately.
Thursday I had another first, I went running here around the heights in my little shorts, sports bra, and wig, I ran early and it was not too hot even with the wig, it's kind of like a hat, I do need a wig with longer hair so I can pull it into a pony tail better but it does work.
Went to starbucks that night, It was kind of slow, some body stayed home to watch Greys Anatomy.
Two more days at work were kind of slow again but we did have 3 calls, two things did happen related to me, the first, I found out that one of the part time guys told somebody that he was a little freaked out by the fact that I wear mascara and does not want to work with me, I guess all the other stuff I wear doesn't bother him, he must not know. The other thing, one of the guys from work was at a bar about 20 miles from here and was talking to people there and my name came up and the fire department, they were the only two people that I know there, what are the odds, I have not seen them in over two years, so what happened next was they got on the phone and called two friends in town, the only two friends who I had not got around to coming out to and told them, so when I got home last night I called and talked to one of them, she was shocked but will be OK with it I think, That's why I had to come out when I did because it really is a small world.
Every thing else is going good, two and a half months on hormones, dressing 7/24, breasts change a little every week, a little more pointy now, no other changes that I can detect, so trans things are slow now and I can get a little of my house work done.
Yesterday I went for another run on the island and I saw two women ridding bikes, they looked like they were family so when they got back to their car I went over and asked them if they were family and they said yes, so I asked them if they knew about the Starbucks GLBT night and they had not so I invited them, more the merrier.
Me thinks that's all for now. Susan
Thursday I had another first, I went running here around the heights in my little shorts, sports bra, and wig, I ran early and it was not too hot even with the wig, it's kind of like a hat, I do need a wig with longer hair so I can pull it into a pony tail better but it does work.
Went to starbucks that night, It was kind of slow, some body stayed home to watch Greys Anatomy.
Two more days at work were kind of slow again but we did have 3 calls, two things did happen related to me, the first, I found out that one of the part time guys told somebody that he was a little freaked out by the fact that I wear mascara and does not want to work with me, I guess all the other stuff I wear doesn't bother him, he must not know. The other thing, one of the guys from work was at a bar about 20 miles from here and was talking to people there and my name came up and the fire department, they were the only two people that I know there, what are the odds, I have not seen them in over two years, so what happened next was they got on the phone and called two friends in town, the only two friends who I had not got around to coming out to and told them, so when I got home last night I called and talked to one of them, she was shocked but will be OK with it I think, That's why I had to come out when I did because it really is a small world.
Every thing else is going good, two and a half months on hormones, dressing 7/24, breasts change a little every week, a little more pointy now, no other changes that I can detect, so trans things are slow now and I can get a little of my house work done.
Yesterday I went for another run on the island and I saw two women ridding bikes, they looked like they were family so when they got back to their car I went over and asked them if they were family and they said yes, so I asked them if they knew about the Starbucks GLBT night and they had not so I invited them, more the merrier.
Me thinks that's all for now. Susan
Saturday, May 2, 2009
24/7
What is 24/7? that's when I have to live and dress as a woman 24 hours a day 7 days a week, it is easy for me on my off days, I can do or go anywhere dressed now, I have got used to it, at work it's a little harder, I still wear my work clothing but my nails are painted, I have a little mascara on and a sports bra, not that I need one it's just in the rules, I didn't think they would notice the little bit of mascara I put on but they did. so that's my 24/7.
Both days at work I was able to talk to people about my self and what I am doing and every thing seem to be OK so far, I have not heard anything bad yet and hope it stays that way.
Today went for another 2 hours of electrolysis then to the dentist to fill out paper work for my first overdue appointment, after that I went to see the girls for a while, that's when I found out I need a flowery dress for Friday, Beltane (Mayday. so I went shopping, I found everything but a flowery dress, Oh well I did buy 5 skirts, 1 shorts and 2 tops, maybe I will have better luck next time
Both days at work I was able to talk to people about my self and what I am doing and every thing seem to be OK so far, I have not heard anything bad yet and hope it stays that way.
Today went for another 2 hours of electrolysis then to the dentist to fill out paper work for my first overdue appointment, after that I went to see the girls for a while, that's when I found out I need a flowery dress for Friday, Beltane (Mayday. so I went shopping, I found everything but a flowery dress, Oh well I did buy 5 skirts, 1 shorts and 2 tops, maybe I will have better luck next time
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
24/7
What is 24/7? that's when I have to live and dress as a woman 24 hours a day 7 days a week, it is easy for me on my off days, I can do or go anywhere dressed now, I have got used to it, at work it's a little harder, I still wear my work clothing but my nails are painted, I have a little mascara on and a sports bra, not that I need one it's just in the rules, I didn't think they would notice the little bit of mascara I put on but they did. so that's my 24/7.
Both days at work I was able to talk to people about my self and what I am doing and every thing seem to be OK so far, I have not heard anything bad yet and hope it stays that way.
Today went for another 2 hours of electrolysis then to the dentist to fill out paper work for my first overdue appointment, after that I went to see the girls for a while, that's when I found out I need a flowery dress for Friday, Beltane (Mayday. so I went shopping, I found everything but a flowery dress, Oh well I did buy 5 skirts, 1 shorts and 2 tops, maybe I will have better luck next time
Both days at work I was able to talk to people about my self and what I am doing and every thing seem to be OK so far, I have not heard anything bad yet and hope it stays that way.
Today went for another 2 hours of electrolysis then to the dentist to fill out paper work for my first overdue appointment, after that I went to see the girls for a while, that's when I found out I need a flowery dress for Friday, Beltane (Mayday. so I went shopping, I found everything but a flowery dress, Oh well I did buy 5 skirts, 1 shorts and 2 tops, maybe I will have better luck next time
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