Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Time is coming
I have 30 days until surgery, it's been a long time coming but it's almost here, people ask me if i am excited, I don't really think I am because I have been thinking about this for so long, it's more that I am ready, it's time. I do seem to be stressing out a bit though but that is because of all the things I have to plan and just hoping that I make it there and on time. The other thing is that all my bills have come this month and I am juggling the money.
Electrolysis is going good, I have had four mega sessions so far this year with another one the week before I leave, this is why I took out the line of credit so I would have the money to get other things done besides the surgery, my face is looking a lot better and it takes less time now to clear my face which is also good on the pocket book, the last time in it took about 1 1/2 days of two people working on me to clear the face.
Work is going along with no problems, it's just routine now, everybody seems to be used to me which takes some of the fun out of it.
The rest of my life is going along just like it should, I do every thing that a normal person does and that surprises me all the time, that I am able to live my life like this, I sometimes I can't believe that I am doing this and that tells me all the time that this is right for me, this is how I was supposed to be.
I did get some help from uncle Sam in the form of a nice tax return, I have plans for that, not going to say what those plans are right now, got to have some surprises.
Well that be all for now.
Susan
Electrolysis is going good, I have had four mega sessions so far this year with another one the week before I leave, this is why I took out the line of credit so I would have the money to get other things done besides the surgery, my face is looking a lot better and it takes less time now to clear my face which is also good on the pocket book, the last time in it took about 1 1/2 days of two people working on me to clear the face.
Work is going along with no problems, it's just routine now, everybody seems to be used to me which takes some of the fun out of it.
The rest of my life is going along just like it should, I do every thing that a normal person does and that surprises me all the time, that I am able to live my life like this, I sometimes I can't believe that I am doing this and that tells me all the time that this is right for me, this is how I was supposed to be.
I did get some help from uncle Sam in the form of a nice tax return, I have plans for that, not going to say what those plans are right now, got to have some surprises.
Well that be all for now.
Susan
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tranny
The last time I came back from Phoenix from having electrolysis I had a little incident at the Safeway parking lot here in Havasu. Well when I come home I am usually not looking too good, I have my work hair on and no makeup because it's not good to put it on when your face is all torn up, but other than that I was dressed nice.
I came out of the store with my shopping cart, walked over to my car and this small white pickup truck had parked on the right side of me, there was two young guys in the front and another two in the bed of the truck, well I unloaded my bags into the trunk, then I pushed the cart over to the shopping cart area and that's when I heard something about "Tranny" I don't remember what all they said but it wasn't anything too bad, I got in my car and looked over at one of the guys in the bed of the truck, He gave me the universal single to show him my tits, well I just shuck my head and smiled, he smiled back and I was gone.
For me this is the first time I have been called Tranny out in pubic, it did not bother me at all, in fact I kind of liked it, maybe because they were paying me attention, not sure, I think it's all in the attitude and the way you handle things, I knew I was not looking too good that day but I had to go shopping so I could eat at work the next day or I would have put it off until I could look better.
I came out of the store with my shopping cart, walked over to my car and this small white pickup truck had parked on the right side of me, there was two young guys in the front and another two in the bed of the truck, well I unloaded my bags into the trunk, then I pushed the cart over to the shopping cart area and that's when I heard something about "Tranny" I don't remember what all they said but it wasn't anything too bad, I got in my car and looked over at one of the guys in the bed of the truck, He gave me the universal single to show him my tits, well I just shuck my head and smiled, he smiled back and I was gone.
For me this is the first time I have been called Tranny out in pubic, it did not bother me at all, in fact I kind of liked it, maybe because they were paying me attention, not sure, I think it's all in the attitude and the way you handle things, I knew I was not looking too good that day but I had to go shopping so I could eat at work the next day or I would have put it off until I could look better.
Monday, April 5, 2010
One less month to live
It may seem like I have a negative attitude but not really, quite a flew years ago I was told to not wish time would go by so fast, like I wish this day would end so I can go home, well that has stayed with me for a long time so to not wish my life away I say one less day to live.
Transition is now at 13 months, hormones twelve months, another month has just gone by petty fast, the first three weeks of March were very busy with the last week being slow, I did not want to go out because I was growing out my facial hair for electrolysis last week, another thirty one hours total time.
Most everything is going good, the only bad thing is that I got my first death threat, it was relayed to me by a friend that wanted to warn me, this guy told her that I was going to get shot in the head when a guy goes down on me and finds something between my legs that doesn't belong there, well that's not going to happen with me because I am not that kind of girl, nobody is going down on me until after I have healed from my surgery, then maybe I will be that kind of girl.
I will be more careful though.
Notable things I did last month.
My friend Billie came to play with me one day, we went out for lunch, took pictures and went to taco dinner at Marie's, very nice day.
Went to Phoenix for electrolysis and got another new hair piece.
Marie had a special dinner for an out of town friend, I will just say that turned out to be a very special night.
Did my tax's, went to a spaghetti dinner at the fire station with two of my friends and I went for a BA consult, it was a very good month so I did not waist one day of my life.
Today I have sixty one days until surgery, fifty six days until I leave, not like I am counting the days but is is something I have to keep track of or else I will not be ready to go, all my plans are going good so far, I have to go two more times to Phoenix for electrolysis and a flew other minor things I need to do other than that my schedule is petty much open, so far, I am putting out a lot of money right now for electrolysis so that is one reason I will not be doing too much so hopefully that will give me more time to work on that bikini body for summer.
T-Girls Rule Susan
Transition is now at 13 months, hormones twelve months, another month has just gone by petty fast, the first three weeks of March were very busy with the last week being slow, I did not want to go out because I was growing out my facial hair for electrolysis last week, another thirty one hours total time.
Most everything is going good, the only bad thing is that I got my first death threat, it was relayed to me by a friend that wanted to warn me, this guy told her that I was going to get shot in the head when a guy goes down on me and finds something between my legs that doesn't belong there, well that's not going to happen with me because I am not that kind of girl, nobody is going down on me until after I have healed from my surgery, then maybe I will be that kind of girl.
I will be more careful though.
Notable things I did last month.
My friend Billie came to play with me one day, we went out for lunch, took pictures and went to taco dinner at Marie's, very nice day.
Went to Phoenix for electrolysis and got another new hair piece.
Marie had a special dinner for an out of town friend, I will just say that turned out to be a very special night.
Did my tax's, went to a spaghetti dinner at the fire station with two of my friends and I went for a BA consult, it was a very good month so I did not waist one day of my life.
Today I have sixty one days until surgery, fifty six days until I leave, not like I am counting the days but is is something I have to keep track of or else I will not be ready to go, all my plans are going good so far, I have to go two more times to Phoenix for electrolysis and a flew other minor things I need to do other than that my schedule is petty much open, so far, I am putting out a lot of money right now for electrolysis so that is one reason I will not be doing too much so hopefully that will give me more time to work on that bikini body for summer.
T-Girls Rule Susan
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I Cry Because
I cry because of what I can never be
I cry because I am sad
I cry because I am happy
I cry because I cry for others
I cry because of what the future brings
I cry because I can still love
I cry because I am lonely
I cry because I am part of the world again
I cry because I have beautiful friends
I cry because I am now happy being me
I cry because I am sad
I cry because I am happy
I cry because I cry for others
I cry because of what the future brings
I cry because I can still love
I cry because I am lonely
I cry because I am part of the world again
I cry because I have beautiful friends
I cry because I am now happy being me
Thursday, March 4, 2010
OMG
I was out grocery shopping and I walked out of the store, there was a man standing there like he was waiting for me to come out, he was around 28, 200lbs, black tee shirt, he said excuse me can I ask you something, I said sure, what gym do you work out at, I said I don't go to a gym, he said are your arms just naturally that big, I said yes, he thanked me and walked off into the parking lot, I did notice him looking back at me.
I was not ready for that question, I was expecting a TG related question, I guess I need to think about all the things people could ask me and be ready with an answer next time, I think I will always get one that's unexpected.
Of course he could have asked me that as an ice breaker.
I was not ready for that question, I was expecting a TG related question, I guess I need to think about all the things people could ask me and be ready with an answer next time, I think I will always get one that's unexpected.
Of course he could have asked me that as an ice breaker.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The One Year Report
One year on hormones, I wish I could say the year went bye fast but it didn't, if it wasn't for being so busy I would have gone nuts, ops already there.
So what have hormones done for me? well that depends on what day you ask me, I saw a picture of my self the other day that I looked like I did before I started this and then two days before that I got dressed to go out and looking in the mirror I looked so hot, so how do I tell you what has changed.
Just the facts mam, what I know for sure is not much, the first six months very little changed, I got the mounds behind the nipples and my skin got softer, I am not sure if I got more sensitive from the hormones or if it was because now it was OK to show my feelings.
After my nose surgery is when things seemed like they kicked in, the lab tests had showed that my testosterone and estrogen were at the same levels but then after the surgery the testosterone dropped down to near nothing, where they should have been all along, this is when I started to notice that my breasts seemed to have grown, the reason I say seemed is because I stopped wearing the breast forms and found real bras that fit, I check my measurements every month and they just don't change, my weight does not change, I can see a difference now, it is so slow, it's a real test of patience, in the last month I did notice a one inch drop in chest size, not breast, chest which is maybe why they look a little bigger.
Body hair did nothing until maybe month nine, that's when I noticed it getting less and lighter in color, now it's even better, I can go all week and not shave if I want, before it was every day.
When I look at my old pictures I can see that I have changed but I can't tell you what has changed, I just know that I look different and much better.
The biggest change I think is in my life, it's not just that I am busy with my transition but I am busy with my life now, I go out and do things, the last four days off I was out every day, this did not happen before, I could easily spend four days at home by myself and all this is only now possible because I can be me.
I have been working on transition now for fourteen months, I know I have a long way to go and a lot to learn, even though I feel more comfortable now when I go out compared to my old life I get nervous around groups of women, I still don't feel worthy to be there with them, I think that will come in time as I go out more.
I have no regrets so far, don't expect any, life gets better and better and I am enjoying the ride. 91 days until SRS, I can't wait.
Susan
Oh I forgot, Electrolysis is on going, does this ever end? going by the last year this has to be the worst part about transition for me, it hurts, drains the bank and takes forever, I don't think I will ever be done.
So what have hormones done for me? well that depends on what day you ask me, I saw a picture of my self the other day that I looked like I did before I started this and then two days before that I got dressed to go out and looking in the mirror I looked so hot, so how do I tell you what has changed.
Just the facts mam, what I know for sure is not much, the first six months very little changed, I got the mounds behind the nipples and my skin got softer, I am not sure if I got more sensitive from the hormones or if it was because now it was OK to show my feelings.
After my nose surgery is when things seemed like they kicked in, the lab tests had showed that my testosterone and estrogen were at the same levels but then after the surgery the testosterone dropped down to near nothing, where they should have been all along, this is when I started to notice that my breasts seemed to have grown, the reason I say seemed is because I stopped wearing the breast forms and found real bras that fit, I check my measurements every month and they just don't change, my weight does not change, I can see a difference now, it is so slow, it's a real test of patience, in the last month I did notice a one inch drop in chest size, not breast, chest which is maybe why they look a little bigger.
Body hair did nothing until maybe month nine, that's when I noticed it getting less and lighter in color, now it's even better, I can go all week and not shave if I want, before it was every day.
When I look at my old pictures I can see that I have changed but I can't tell you what has changed, I just know that I look different and much better.
The biggest change I think is in my life, it's not just that I am busy with my transition but I am busy with my life now, I go out and do things, the last four days off I was out every day, this did not happen before, I could easily spend four days at home by myself and all this is only now possible because I can be me.
I have been working on transition now for fourteen months, I know I have a long way to go and a lot to learn, even though I feel more comfortable now when I go out compared to my old life I get nervous around groups of women, I still don't feel worthy to be there with them, I think that will come in time as I go out more.
I have no regrets so far, don't expect any, life gets better and better and I am enjoying the ride. 91 days until SRS, I can't wait.
Susan
Oh I forgot, Electrolysis is on going, does this ever end? going by the last year this has to be the worst part about transition for me, it hurts, drains the bank and takes forever, I don't think I will ever be done.
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