How do you measure Success? that's what I was thinking about last night at about 2am when I should have been sleeping, I should have just got up and wrote it then.
I went way back to my high school days, just the fact that I made it through school and graduated was a success, I did't do very good but I did pass.
When I was in school I had no idea what I was going to do when I graduated, I wasn't like a lot of the other kids that knew exactly what they wanted to do, just no idea.
So join the U.S.Navy I did during Vietnam, that was a different Navy back then, after 4 years I got out, for me that was another success, just making it though with out getting into trouble.
I was out of the Navy for 4 years, I had an OK job and I was doing good, that's when I got married, so back then I guess you could say I was succeeding.
After being married for about 2 years, I was getting bored with work and other things so I reenlisted in the Navy, we picked up every thing and moved to San Diego from Minnesota, the goal was to finish my 16 years and retire and that's what I did, for me that was a big success.
I guess I should tell you about my biggest failure too, that was my marriage, It was doomed from the start and now we know why, we did have some good times so all the years together were not all a waist.
One of the biggest things we did is buy a house and that one thing has to be the thing that has allowed me to do what I am doing today, when we sold the house before we divorced we made 3 times the money we paid for it, that's when the housing market was at it's highest, we split the money, she bought a house free and clear and so did I, another success.
After I retired from the Navy I started a new career, I worked at that for 6 years until my wife and me split, I could not see staying in San Diego because 3/4 of my pay would just go to living there when I could move somewhere else work for 1/2 as much, not have to drive so far every day and still have money left over to live, that's how I ended up in Arizona.
When I moved here I started another new career which I have been doing now for the last 6 years, I have never been fired from a job, knock on wood, so I think you could say I have been successful in my career's.
My personal life is the only thing I have had a problem with and of course that is the biggest, most important thing of all, with out this what is there to live for really, I know why I have made it this far, I have the chance to make something out of the rest of my life, I know who I am now and I hope it's not too late.
Wish me Success.
Susan
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Anonymous response to my blog
This blog is in response to a comment I got and I thought it was a good thing to blog about, the comment is below.
"Anonymous said...
Honestly when I hear people brag about how much they have thus far spent on transition, it is as though you are somehow special for doing so.
Those who are serious about transition all have to spend this kind of money - why advertise?
There are some of us out here who are not as fortunate to be able to afford all of this but yet we need to still transition. As for myself I barely can afford hormones and therapist let alone electrolysis.
Let it be known - this bragging hurts others who cannot afford it and yet need to transition just like you. Yes I am jealous...and feeling low because being buried under debt and responsibilities - I cannot transition like I need to merely because of money"
I wrote a comment to this last night but I lost it and it got kind of long so I will just blog about it.
When I started writing blogs last year it was so others could see what i was doing and how i was doing in my transition, also to keep a record of it for myself to look back on when i get really old, at no time have i ever tried to hurt anybody and i do sensor myself for that reason.
How much this transition costs is something that i think other people would like to know, I do not think it's bragging, I have to spend this much because I am so old, I need all the help I can get, there are a lot of other girls out there who all they have to do is put on a dress, brush their hair and put on makeup and they are done, now that makes me jealous.
I have worked hard all my life, I am not smart so I believe that if I can do this then anybody can, it wasn't luck that put me in the position that I am in now, I worked for it.
Anybody that knows me knows how serious I am about my transition, I don't see where saying how much I have spent has to do with being serious.
That's all I have to say about that, this is my blog, i do take things people say into consideration but in the end it is still my blog and I am not forcing anybody to read it.
Susan
"Anonymous said...
Honestly when I hear people brag about how much they have thus far spent on transition, it is as though you are somehow special for doing so.
Those who are serious about transition all have to spend this kind of money - why advertise?
There are some of us out here who are not as fortunate to be able to afford all of this but yet we need to still transition. As for myself I barely can afford hormones and therapist let alone electrolysis.
Let it be known - this bragging hurts others who cannot afford it and yet need to transition just like you. Yes I am jealous...and feeling low because being buried under debt and responsibilities - I cannot transition like I need to merely because of money"
I wrote a comment to this last night but I lost it and it got kind of long so I will just blog about it.
When I started writing blogs last year it was so others could see what i was doing and how i was doing in my transition, also to keep a record of it for myself to look back on when i get really old, at no time have i ever tried to hurt anybody and i do sensor myself for that reason.
How much this transition costs is something that i think other people would like to know, I do not think it's bragging, I have to spend this much because I am so old, I need all the help I can get, there are a lot of other girls out there who all they have to do is put on a dress, brush their hair and put on makeup and they are done, now that makes me jealous.
I have worked hard all my life, I am not smart so I believe that if I can do this then anybody can, it wasn't luck that put me in the position that I am in now, I worked for it.
Anybody that knows me knows how serious I am about my transition, I don't see where saying how much I have spent has to do with being serious.
That's all I have to say about that, this is my blog, i do take things people say into consideration but in the end it is still my blog and I am not forcing anybody to read it.
Susan
Thursday, January 21, 2010
$18,000 So Far
@18,000 is what it has cost so far to just be me.
Electrolysis: 119 Hours $7,715
Nose & Nipples: $6,700
Doctor: $510
MMPI test: $200
Hair: $1,000
Eyes: $400
Therapist: $675
Transportation to Phoenix $800
This does not include clothing and makeup.
So far this is the best $18,000 I have ever spent, I would never have thought I would ever spend that much money on my self, I don't think I have spent that much all my life, I never would buy myself much before.
This year I am looking at around $25,000 maybe more if I can manage it and it does take management, what and when I can do things is all controlled by the money flow, money makes the world go around.
Electrolysis: 119 Hours $7,715
Nose & Nipples: $6,700
Doctor: $510
MMPI test: $200
Hair: $1,000
Eyes: $400
Therapist: $675
Transportation to Phoenix $800
This does not include clothing and makeup.
So far this is the best $18,000 I have ever spent, I would never have thought I would ever spend that much money on my self, I don't think I have spent that much all my life, I never would buy myself much before.
This year I am looking at around $25,000 maybe more if I can manage it and it does take management, what and when I can do things is all controlled by the money flow, money makes the world go around.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Goals for 2010
This is a list of goals I am going to try and get done this year, you have to have goals right.
1. Stay healthy.
2. keep my job or at least stay working.
3. Be myself.
4. Give back as much or more love and support to my friends as they have given me.
5. The thing I have always wanted, SRS.
6. Recover from surgery.
7. Return to work.
8. Complete the work on my house.
9. Prepare for the next surgery, not sure which one that will be.
10. Finish electrolysis.( I don't think this will ever be done).
I think that is a lot to do in one year so I will leave it at that, I may add more later if I forgot any.
1. Stay healthy.
2. keep my job or at least stay working.
3. Be myself.
4. Give back as much or more love and support to my friends as they have given me.
5. The thing I have always wanted, SRS.
6. Recover from surgery.
7. Return to work.
8. Complete the work on my house.
9. Prepare for the next surgery, not sure which one that will be.
10. Finish electrolysis.( I don't think this will ever be done).
I think that is a lot to do in one year so I will leave it at that, I may add more later if I forgot any.
Friday, January 1, 2010
2009
2009 was a very big year for me perhaps my biggest ever, this was the year when I started my transition, I would have started 2 months earlier right after I realized what I am but I had some things I needed to clear up before I could start.
I made my first appointments with my therapist, I was driving about 2 times a month to Phoenix so I could get the letter for hormones and really get started on my physical transition, that was done by the end of February which means I have been on hormones now for 10 months.
I also started early in January working on my new wardrobe, something I will be working on the rest of my life and loving it. I never once went to Phoenix in boy mode.
I think January was when I started going to Starbucks for coffee with the local GLBT group, I will never forget walking in there the first time, it was the first time in full dress, I was shaking so bad and all I did was sit down at a table with BOB, wow how things have changed.
April and May is when I did my coming out,this was done so soon because I was driving around this small town and I knew that I was going to be seen real soon so I thought I would do it under my own terms. I did not really have any friends that I had to come out to(how sad is that) so it was work first which was not as hard as I thought it would be and then I came out to my family in England, coming out for me was one of the best things I have ever done, it lets me be me.
May is when I started my name change and was done on June 9th, I am still finding things that have my old name on them, what a pain.
Electrolysis was started in January also and was worked on all year, I am up to about 130 hours with many more to go.
In September I had my nose job, that nose had given me a hard time for over over 35 years, not only does it look better but more important it's the way it makes me feel about myself that makes the biggest difference, it also helps in the passing I think mostly from not attracting attention to me.
I think it was September when I made my appointment for GRS, it seemed like so long away back then but I moved the date up a month when I was given the chance and now it's 5 months away, I can't wait.
I have made a lot of new friends this year who have made this transition easier for me. I would like to thank Marie and Billie for all their support.
I have found out that I can still love and I still have feeling and boy do I have feeling, I don't remmber the last day when I had dry eyes, it's all good.
I have been living full time now for about 8 months (from when I came out), it feels normal for me to be dressed as a woman and that's because I have always been one inside.
This was also the first year I have ever written a blog, in fact I have written more this year than in my whole life, I did slow down a little on the blogs but that is because what I was doing had become the norm and there was nothing new to write about, all this was new to me.
I have had some problems but nothing bad, I have had a great year, this was the year when I started living again.
I think I covered everything, I am still open about everything and if you ever want to ask questions go ahead, I am always ready to talk about my new life.
Happy New Year. Susan
I made my first appointments with my therapist, I was driving about 2 times a month to Phoenix so I could get the letter for hormones and really get started on my physical transition, that was done by the end of February which means I have been on hormones now for 10 months.
I also started early in January working on my new wardrobe, something I will be working on the rest of my life and loving it. I never once went to Phoenix in boy mode.
I think January was when I started going to Starbucks for coffee with the local GLBT group, I will never forget walking in there the first time, it was the first time in full dress, I was shaking so bad and all I did was sit down at a table with BOB, wow how things have changed.
April and May is when I did my coming out,this was done so soon because I was driving around this small town and I knew that I was going to be seen real soon so I thought I would do it under my own terms. I did not really have any friends that I had to come out to(how sad is that) so it was work first which was not as hard as I thought it would be and then I came out to my family in England, coming out for me was one of the best things I have ever done, it lets me be me.
May is when I started my name change and was done on June 9th, I am still finding things that have my old name on them, what a pain.
Electrolysis was started in January also and was worked on all year, I am up to about 130 hours with many more to go.
In September I had my nose job, that nose had given me a hard time for over over 35 years, not only does it look better but more important it's the way it makes me feel about myself that makes the biggest difference, it also helps in the passing I think mostly from not attracting attention to me.
I think it was September when I made my appointment for GRS, it seemed like so long away back then but I moved the date up a month when I was given the chance and now it's 5 months away, I can't wait.
I have made a lot of new friends this year who have made this transition easier for me. I would like to thank Marie and Billie for all their support.
I have found out that I can still love and I still have feeling and boy do I have feeling, I don't remmber the last day when I had dry eyes, it's all good.
I have been living full time now for about 8 months (from when I came out), it feels normal for me to be dressed as a woman and that's because I have always been one inside.
This was also the first year I have ever written a blog, in fact I have written more this year than in my whole life, I did slow down a little on the blogs but that is because what I was doing had become the norm and there was nothing new to write about, all this was new to me.
I have had some problems but nothing bad, I have had a great year, this was the year when I started living again.
I think I covered everything, I am still open about everything and if you ever want to ask questions go ahead, I am always ready to talk about my new life.
Happy New Year. Susan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
